"He Chose Porn Over Me": Women Harmed by Men Who Use Porn
Shattering the popular myth that porn is harmless, the personal accounts of 25 brave women in “He Chose Porn over Me” reveal the real-life trauma experienced by women at the hands of their porn-consuming partners – men who were supposed to care for them.
This confronting but necessary book dares to tell the truth about pornography’s destructive impact – about the men who habitually use it and the women and children who are mistreated and discarded as a result.
The women in this book were collateral damage in their partner’s insatiable greed for porn. Their stories tell of the crushing of intimacy, respect, connection, love. Porn colonised their families, leaving women rejected and scarred. They were subjected to sexual terrorism in their own homes. The men, turbo-charged by pornography, were intoxicated by sexualised power. They didn’t care if they lost everything including their partners.
In this haunting expose, pornography is rightfully situated as an insidious tool of violence against women.
The contributors, now working to re-build their lives, found a confidante in Melinda Tankard Reist who supported them in the sharing of their experiences in these pages, and to warn other women – don’t date men who use porn …
He chose porn over me. Porn killed my marriage. It killed my trust. It destroyed my sense of self and understanding of true intimacy.
—Courtney
As long as pornography exists, we don’t stand a chance of creating a fair and equal world.
—Carla
I was being groomed to become a porn star in the bedroom.
—Maggie
He used me like a blow-up doll.
—Florence
AUGUST 2022 | 9781925950588 | Paperback | 140 x 216 mm | 200 pp
Endorsements
Finally, we are seeing with clear eyes that pornography is a global misery machine. For those whose bodies are destroyed in its making, and those whose hearts are destroyed in its consumption. But what if the worst effects are on the partners of men for whom porn has replaced, and redefined, what love is? As we belatedly found with child sexual abuse, and family violence, someone you know is likely to already be living this tragedy. This book asks more questions than it answers, but it blasts the lid off something we have to talk about. Both women and men need to know the warning signs, and that they don't have to end up there.
— Steve Biddulph, bestselling author of Raising Boys, Raising Girls and Manhood, activist and psychologist